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Chuck Norris can squeeze orange juice from a banana
Chuck Norris does not sleep, he waits
Chuck Norris' blood type is AK+. Ass kicking positive
The Great Wall of China was originally built to keep chuck Norris out, bout it failed.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures chuck Norris allows to live.
If you spell chuck Norris in scrabble – you win. Forever.
Chuck Norris once ***** down a German fighter with his finger by yelling "bang!"
When chuck Norris talks, everybody listens. And die.
Chuck Norris can order a big mac at burger king.
Chuck Norris once ate a whole bottle of sleeping pills, they made him blink.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
If chuck Norris would have fought himself – he would win.
When chuck Norris smiles – someone dies. Unless he smiles while roundhouse kicking someone. Then two people die.
The universe expands because it is trying to get away from chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can not love. He can only not kill.
Godzilla is chuck Norris in Chinese.
Chuck Norris does not his own house. He walks into different houses and people move.
When the Hulk gets mad he turns into chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
To be or not to be? That is the question. The answer is Chuck Norris.
Jesus can walk on water, but chuck Norris can walk on jesus.
Chuck Norris didn't wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear.
The universe was created when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a star in the face for being too bright.
Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more than you
Chuck Norris’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
Q: How many Chuck Norris' does it take to change a light bulb? A: None, Chuck Norris prefers to kill the dark
Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats. Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.
The square root of Chuck Norris is pain
There’s an order to the universe: space, time, Chuck Norris.... Just kidding, Chuck Norris is first.
When Arnold says the line "I'll be back" in the first Terminator movie it is implied that is he going to ask Chuck Norris for help.
Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris CAN in fact 'raise the roof'. And he can do it with one hand.
For Chuck Norris, every street is "one way". HIS WAY.
Dinosaurs went extinct because of the Chuck Norrisaurus.
Chuck Norris let the dogs out.
Chuck Norris make onions CRY!!!