סלוגנים מצחיקים באנגלית | חלק ב'
Stupidity is not a handicap!
Park elsewhere!
If aliens are smart enough
to travel through space,
why do they keep abducting
the dumbest people on earth?
When you get old and your kids ask
where all the money went, show
them the vacation videos.
Confession is good for the soul,
but bad for your career.
If your feet smell
and your nose runs,
you're built upside down.
THINGS YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR DURING SURGERY
Well folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.
Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500 ml of this stuff before?
Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?
Ya' know... there's big money in kidneys... and this guy's got two of 'em.
Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?
Oh no! I just lost my Rolex.
Damm! There go the lights again...
What's this doing here?
That's cool! Now can you make his leg twitch?!
Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad Dog!
Sterile, schemerle. The floor's clean, right?
What do you mean he wasn't in for a sex change?
OK, now take a picture from this angle. This is truly a freak of nature.
This patient has already had some kids, am I correct?
Don't worry. I think it is sharp enough.
Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.
Isn't this the guy with the really lousy insurance?
Hard work never killed anyone,
But why chance it?
DISCOURAGE INBREEDING
- BAN COUNTRY MUSIC -
Dyslexics Have More Nuf.
Here is a sign posted at a golf club in Scottsdale, Arizona:
ATTENTION GOLFERS
1. Keep Your Back Straight, Knees Bent & Feet Shoulder-Width Apart.
2. Form a Loose Grip.
3. Keep Your Head Down.
4. Avoid a Quick Backswing.
5. Stay Out of the Water.
6. Try Not to Hit Anyone.
7. If You are Taking Too Long, Let Others Go Ahead of You.
8. Don't Stand Directly in Front of Others.
9. Quiet Please... While Others are Preparing.
10. Don't Take Extra Strokes.
WELL DONE! NOW FLUSH THE URINAL & GO PLAY GOLF.
Welcome to Utah
Set your watch back 20 years.
Life would be so much easier
if we just had the source code.
Never Go to Bed Angry.
Stay Awake and Plot Your Revenge
My short-term memory is not as sharp as it used to be.
Also, my short-term memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
Failure is not an option!
It comes bundled with the software.
In Memorium
With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person, which almost went unnoticed last week. Larry LaPrise, the man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey", died peacefully at age 93. The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in. And then the trouble started.
The faulty interface lies between
the chair and the keyboard.
> I think sex is better than logic,
but I can't prove it.
Evolution created anchovies.
Man's ignorance put them on pizza.
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