סלוגנים מצחיקים באנגלית | חלק ה'
Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
Don't get married.
Find a woman you hate and buy her a house.
Be nice to your kids.
They'll choose your nursing home.
emordnilap is palindrome
spelled backwards.
TAKE OFF, QUICK!
During a taxi run, the crew of a US AIR flight to Ft. Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose to nose with a United 727. The irate ground controller (a female) screamed, "US Air 2771, where are you going? I told you to turn right on "Charlie" taxiway; you turned right on "Delta". Stop right there! I know it's difficult to tell the difference between C's & D's, but get it right!"
Continuing her lashing to the embarrassed crew, she was now *****ing hysterically. "Now, you've screwed up everything; it'll take forever to sort this out. You stay right there and don't move until I tell you to! Then, I want you to go exactly where I tell you, when I tell you, and how I tell you. You got that, US Air 2771?"
"The humbled crew responded, "Yes, Ma'am".
The ground control frequency went terribly silent; none of the air crews wanted to engage the irate ground controller in her current state. Tension in every cockpit at the airport was running high. Then an unknown male pilot broke the silence and asked, "Wasn't I married to you once?"
They call it "PMS" because
"Mad Cow Disease" was already taken.
I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband is not in bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee. "What's the matter, dear?", she whispers as she steps into the room, "Why are you down here at this time of night?"
The husband looks up from his coffee." Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 16?", he asks solemnly.
"Yes I do," she replies.
The husband pauses. The words are not coming easily. "Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?"
"Yes, I remember," says the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.
The husband continues: "Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, either you marry my daughter, or I'll send you to jail for 20 years?"
"I remember that too," she replies softly.
He wipes another tear from his cheek and says, "I would have gotten out today."
It's not whether you win or lose,
but how you place the blame.
We have enough youth.
How about a fountain of "smart"?
When you work here,
you can name your own salary.
I named mine, "Fred".
The original point and click interface
was a Smith & Wesson.
A fool and his money
can throw one hell of a party.
when blondes have more fun do they know it?
Five days a week my body is a temple.
The other two it's an amusement park.
LEARN FROM YOUR PARENTS' MISTAKES
USE BIRTHCONTROL
WELCOME TO VIRGINIA
Two Hundred Years of History
Unimpeded by Progress
money isn't everything,
but it sure keeps the kids in touch.
Don't Drink and Drive
You might hit a bump and spill something.
If at first you don't succeed
skydiving is not for you.
Reality is only an illusion
that occurs due to a lack of alcohol.
I like cats too.
Let's exchange recipes.
Time's fun when you're having flies.
......Kermit the Frog
We are born naked, wet and hungry.
Then things get worse.
Red meat is not bad for you
Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.
Police station toilet stolen
....Cops have nothing to go on.
Ninety-nine percent of all lawyers
give the rest a bad name.
One good thing about Alzheimer's is
you get to meet new people every day.
Jesus saves sinners
and redeems them for cash and valuable prizes.
Friends don't let friends
take ugly women home.
But, what if I want the one in the bush?
> Xerox and Wurlitzer will merge
to produce reproductive organs.
Alabama state motto:
At least we're not Mississippi
Gaseous clouds
have been detected
around Uranus.
ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE IS NO
MATCH FOR NATURAL STUPIDITY.
GUN CONTROL:
using both hands
The more I learn about terrorism,
the more I understand the phone company.
The latest survey shows that
three out of four people make
up 75% of the population.
When you finish this page
check out our
"You Might Be a Redneck If..." page.
I am having an out-of-money experience.
Click Here to go to
TRASHY SIGNS, SLOGANS
and OFFICE MOTTOS - Part 2
The Best Travel Pictures
in the FortOgden Library
are posted on Flickr.
CLICK HERE to go directly.
STATEMENT OF POLITICAL
and MORAL CORRECTNESSFull noodle frontery will not be displayed on Fort Ogden pages. This site contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. We support the natural release of dihydrogen monoxide from the atmosphere. We also comply with the data recycling act of 1997. We respect and celebrate St. Swithin's Day. This site is Y2K Complacent. We fully support efforts to save the world's remaining octothorpes in their natural habitat. The surgeon general warns that doing most anything can be harmful. Member of FDIC. Batteries not included. Some assembly may be required. No animals were harmed in the testing of these pages, although some were aroused. This site was pre-recorded for this time zone.
This statement was prepared upon the urging and advise
of our legal counsel, Merryweather, Finch, Piercefeather and Snit
Our beloved founder,
Elwood J. Krotchbaum, 1899~2009
May he rest in peace.
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